A Long Need Vacation

Next week on Monday is when I leave for a week long backpacking trip in the Lost Creek Wilderness. I haven't looked forward to something this big in a long time. Im soo excited to go. I had a job interview today where the guy asked me to go to this convention in California, and I said Id love to go but Id been planning this backpacking trip for a very long time. Im dropping everything to do this. Nothing will stop me short of death. lol. No cell phones, no bills, no worries. One week in Gods creation soaking in its beauty and forgetting that there is a world out there that is too busy to take a breath. I cant wait, I cant wait, I cant wait. ok Im done. ;-)
So yeah, Im moving on in my career. Taking on the next big thing. This job went above my expectations. Its a new place to excel, a new business owner to learn from, expand myself, and the next step toward owning my own business. I know it may sound counter-intuitive to continue getting jobs when I just want to start a business and create jobs, but at the same time I feel like Im learning from the masters of business. People who went out there and started their own deal. This guys has made his millions and now he wants to make this business succeed. Im excited to help him do that. In return I learn valuable lessons and absorb knowledge that will allow me to more successful when I start my own business.
One day.... ah, those 2 words seem so NEVER. but yes, one day I will start a business, and possibly 2 or 3 or more. and help my friends get their businesses up and running. yes that will be the day. but now I establish myself the best way I know how, and I continue to learn and keep my eyes open.
And as I get older I realize the important things in my life. Part of getting established is deciding on your values and priorities. I think this whole learning process called my "twenties" is a fun time. And I dont care what anyone says, I like my rollarcoaster ride and IM doing what I feel is right. Not what someone else tells me. Ah, its good to be me! Is it good to be you....?

I dont want to grow up

Its sad but true. I am scared to death of all the work that is ahead for me in my life, and being unsure if I can still be a healthy minded individual if I dont find somethign that at least keeps me interested long term.
Money issues keep creeping up on me too. I hate debt. If I have any advice to anyone, its be fanatical about staying out of debt. I hate the fact that I live month to month, paycheck to paycheck just to make ends meet, and the mountain of debt never seems to go away. bills, bills, bills. I guess the stress is added on by the fact that I have a commision based job that never allows me the ability to stop hammering away at aquiring new business. If I slow up just a bit, I suffer down the road. Its tough. Its teaching me a lesson the hard way.
My living expenses have gone way up and I have no slack to try and leapfrog to the next thing. I didnt get a paycheck for 2 months to start this job, and its showing. I cant catch back up it seems. It hurts. It really is a feeling of helplessness that I have never felt before.
Well to look on the bright side. Im an escape artist and very resourceful. Ill find my way out eventually. Sometimes I wish I would have just stayed at hertz. But then I look back, and I wonder what life would have been like without taking on this job. I now have the courage to start my own business. I dont think I would have if I stayed at hertz. Courage. Its what we all need to survive. Some need it more then others. Courage defines my life more then anything now. Its time to buck up and fight with everything I got. At least thats what it feels like. ;-)
Please feel free to comment on how this time in your life feels and how you are coping, or overcoming...

AHHHHHH!

Ok. So Ive been riding the rollarcoaster of emotions. Ive started dating again. wow. its crazy. I went on a blind date last night and it went amazingly well. Im so happy. I really do need to be dating again. I think its healthy for me. My parents wanna see me get married one day, and so do I. I cant really do it if all I ever do is work my life away.
So yeah, things are coming to a head about starting my own business. I seeked out a lot of advice, and Im getting some professional advice on Monday. Its hard not to go for it. There are some hurdles I gotta jump, but overall Im excited to be able to own my own business and do my own thing. Everything has been culminating into this. My new mission, or should I say, my culminating mission in life is to be a serial entreprenuer. Its REALLY scary. But everyone has been encouraging and everyone wants to see you succeed and help you anyway they can. At least thats been my experience.
Its hard sleeping these past few weeks. Not only is the heat unbearable, but the thoughts in my mind get to me. I go to sleep and wake up thinking about work. Its crazy. I went for a run today. It was refreshing. This dry heat really gets to my throat. Its like I can never get enough water. Argh.
Ok. I really have nothing to write about. I feel like Im just waiting for the go ahead on the rest of my life. Hmm. Weird feelings. hard to describe. It like forgetting how to write English. I need a shower. goodnight. lol...

Fun Times

You know what? I really do like the life of a construction manager. Sure it has its headaches, but it can be downright fun at times, and seeing the finished product gives you a lot of pride in your work and a sense of accomplishment.
Ive been talking with my painters alot about starting a business. Its an exciting idea. Just the fact that Im getting alot of referal work, and surviving almost exclusively on it gives me the confidence I need to go out there and do it. I have my doubts. I feel like work is my life now, but its an ok life. It seems to fit my personality. Like I said in a previous blog, Im very acheivement oriented. Its sure better then sitting in an office all day long.
At the same time, Im not as aggressive as when I started out. Ive learned a few lessons, and I remind myself that sometimes I push too hard. The fact of the matter is that I chose to work those Saturdays that I complain about. And now Im choosing not to work my butt off. Im learning to let things flow more naturally. I really couldnt believe how deadline-oriented I had become. One thing I always remind myself about is that you become your work. I work up this morning thinking how I was going to plan my day today and get setup for monday. Isnt that sad, that my first waking thought is about work?
Its also about ethics. As a businessman, I have many options to be unethical. It definitely puts you through the fire. Like one question I have... Should I do jobs on the side so that the company doesn't profit from them? Here is a further question. Does it matter where I sourced that lead from? Should the company be entitled for work that I do for a friend? Im not only wrestling with ethical issues on my side of the fence, Im wrestling with ethical issues from the company. I did a job for Toms friend, and I could have saved him a lot more money if I didnt go through the company to do it, contract-wise, but would that have been the right thing to do? This was a lead sourced outside of company channels. Why should they profit from it? Also, they make me pay for all my own equipment. Shouldnt I be entitled to use it the way I see fit?
I just dont know. Like I said it puts me through the fire, and tests what Im made of. Like I said, I probably need to start my own business. There is more, but Ill leave it at that. I really need to talk to someone about all this, and I will. As always, WSS.

Unexpected Things

Oh man, we had a great Independence Day party. Its early the next day and Im trying hard to wake up and go to work. I was up till at least 4am last night. Or should I say this morning. Thats 2 whole hours of sleep. Gotta love it.
Yesterday was great. I celebrated my independence by climbing two routes up Dome rock in Boulder Canyon. I bought new climbing shoes and they work great. They are 5.10 Stealth C4's. I went with Tim, Lisa, and Andre. I guess the unexpected things started to happen when we couldnt climb the original rock face that we had wanted because high water kept us from being able to cross the stream to get to it. So we found this other place and Tim was estatic the whole time because he was like I never knew this existed. This is a great route. Etc. etc. etc...
So yeah, we got back, and I went to pick up Beau and Brad. Those guys are great. Its a shame they are leaving to go to Austin. Maybe we will visit them sometime. Then I got back to the party and people started to arrive. I had small talk with just about everyone. We ate good food, we laughed, we had a great time. I was a bit disappointed because Kiersten and Melissa, two good friends of ours, left without saying goodbye to me. They didnt really search hard enough cause I was just in my bedroom with Nikki showing her some pictures and I came out and they were gone. I guess they were just in a hurry to leave cause they had something to do the next day.
Anyhow, we watched the fireworks from our roof. That was a blast. Then the unexpected things started to happen. I shared my jacket with Nikki cause we were both a little chilly cause of the wind. After the fireworks were over we ended up staying on the roof after everyone else went down and talked for like 2 hours. After that we started just cuddling with each other wanting to go to bed. It was kinda weird cause I never would have imagined having romantic feelings for this girl, but I decided I would just go with the flow. So it opened up some things that I dont know what to do with now, but suffice it to say, a lot of unexpected good with likely come out of it. Im being intentionally vague so dont expect to understand what Im talking about. I guess I just needed to write it to get it off my chest.
So yeah, we shall see. I had a lot of fun, and now its back to the daily grind. Man, I wish I would have taken a half day today or something. Im hurting pretty bad. Im probably going to do my thing this morning, get my address on my drivers license changed, and come home and take a nap.
Carpe Diem!

The 4th is upon us

Ahhh ...Independence. Freedom... Choice... Thats what this country is all about. Thats what it was built on. I hate people telling me what to do. Guess thats why I am where I am right now. Practically boss of my own company. New Home Owner. Single and Loving it. haha. No one tells me what to do.
...a man's worst difficulties begin when he is able to do as he likes.
- Thomas Henry Huxley
"Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility." -Sigmund Freud
"Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security, will not have, nor do they deserve, either one." -Benjamin Franklin
Ain't it the truth. Its scary being able to do as I like. The choices are endless, and Im responsible for all the consequences. A true sign of a "grown-up" is someone who can handle consequences. I see too many people who cant. But lets look on the bright side.
"The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage." -Thucydides
"The cost of freedom is always high, but Americans have always paid it. And one path we shall never choose, and that is the path of surrender, or submission." -John Fitzgerald Kennedy
So lets remember on this Independence Day exactly what we are proclaiming from the beginning. That we will not allow tyranny to keep from us that which we hold dear. That no man on any throne can take away the God-given rights we have secured to be our treasure.
I hope everyone who reads this takes time to think about why they are free and what a gift it is. And as Patrick henry would say, "I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!"
Thank you.