being pessimistic
You know, I generally regard myself as an optimist, but lately Ive been discovering that a little bit of pessimism can be a good thing. Work has been exceding my expections alot lately and you can thank my low expectation pessimism for it. After working at 13 other jobs and seeing what working conditions really are like number 14 has not gotten off to a good start in impressing me.
I was all excited to work where I am working now, but it has gone bad. My manager hardly ever smiles or tells me Im doing a good job. Now granted most managers can be like that, but she doesn't even thank me. Well she does but its rare. I was thinking hard about going to that sales job today. Luckily I only worked there half a day. I was asked to switch places with another employee because I didnt have my company uniform yet. Yes, they actually got me a suit to wear. Oh, well the reason was that the airport I work in was having their 40th anniversary and it was a dressed up affair. You know, normally the free food would have had me complaining that I had to leave, but I was just glad to go. And thats saying something because I love free food.
And I have been trying to figure this out about myself. Why I have this need just to leave, and move on. I guess its a few reasons. My high tolerance for risk? My high need for change? My low tolerance for bossy bosses? My high need for autonomy? My low need for verbal abuse? My high need to be surrounded by happy upbeat people?
You know, my favorite job was working for UPMC. My boss was great. Everyone thanked me and made me feel at home there. I had a fair amount of autonomy there. And I wonder, should I keep looking for something better or suck it up and deal with it. Tom says I should suck it up because it pays well, its steady pay, and we plan on buying a house soon. But then will I be stuck? Will it drive me insane? Will it continue to give me sleepless nights?
Maybe Im making it sound worse then it is because I know many people would be happy to have my job. But am I? Is there something wrong with me? I know I have a strong work ethic, and I know Im not someone who cant hold down job because I can. But why is it that I keep feeling this way even about a good job? Good old American restlessness. Ah, I dont want to talk about it anymore.
I was all excited to work where I am working now, but it has gone bad. My manager hardly ever smiles or tells me Im doing a good job. Now granted most managers can be like that, but she doesn't even thank me. Well she does but its rare. I was thinking hard about going to that sales job today. Luckily I only worked there half a day. I was asked to switch places with another employee because I didnt have my company uniform yet. Yes, they actually got me a suit to wear. Oh, well the reason was that the airport I work in was having their 40th anniversary and it was a dressed up affair. You know, normally the free food would have had me complaining that I had to leave, but I was just glad to go. And thats saying something because I love free food.
And I have been trying to figure this out about myself. Why I have this need just to leave, and move on. I guess its a few reasons. My high tolerance for risk? My high need for change? My low tolerance for bossy bosses? My high need for autonomy? My low need for verbal abuse? My high need to be surrounded by happy upbeat people?
You know, my favorite job was working for UPMC. My boss was great. Everyone thanked me and made me feel at home there. I had a fair amount of autonomy there. And I wonder, should I keep looking for something better or suck it up and deal with it. Tom says I should suck it up because it pays well, its steady pay, and we plan on buying a house soon. But then will I be stuck? Will it drive me insane? Will it continue to give me sleepless nights?
Maybe Im making it sound worse then it is because I know many people would be happy to have my job. But am I? Is there something wrong with me? I know I have a strong work ethic, and I know Im not someone who cant hold down job because I can. But why is it that I keep feeling this way even about a good job? Good old American restlessness. Ah, I dont want to talk about it anymore.
posted by Jeremy at 6:56 PM
2 Comments:
Holy shit you always overthink things.
I think that that might possibly be your psychological flaw--you do think too much!
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