Convinced and Convicted.

two very similar words. This is todays sermon. Ephesians 4. The body of Christ, how we are all part. Each has his own fuction. Why do some of us try to do it all? Why dont we just find our niche and stick with it? How do some find it easy, and others hard? I dont know.
What I do know is that I try the best I can to do what I can. Ultimately, I know my gifts. I just gotta use them. I know my passion, so why do I run away from it? Why is it so hard to give up one think for another, yet its so easy to stay uncommited and lose out on both? What path am I following? How did I end up here? Did I just catch the next gust of wind that came by? When this one dies out, do I move on to the next or am I left stranded? The questions I ask myself that you know nothing about. Yet can gather something of their existence and what they mean.
I try yet if its not my place, why do I strive so hard to make it that way? Am I really an escapist or just someone that has an absolute need to be where they need and want to be? Yes I wrote had instead of has in that previous sentence. Does that say anything? Have I lost my absolute need? Have I settled? Can I go back? Why are these dreams being reawakened? ha, does that make sense?
Why now, why all at once? What is God trying to tell me? Is it anything? Has it been there all along and I havent been listening, or is it new? Blessing or curse, I dont know. But its late and I need rest. So Goodnight...