Lokolee

Hi All,

Check out my latest blog at lokolee.com. It talks about all things related to local businesses and how they can help make your community a better place to live.

Cheers,

Jeremy

insightwriter.com

So it's finally here. insightwriter.com My new .com site dedicated to the application of knowledge. Please visit and let me know your thoughts, feelings, expectations, general rants, websites of interest, fascinating news, and whatever else comes to mind.

Thank you,

The Insight Writer Himself,

Jeremy

Operation Aperture

Check it out. www.operationaperture.blogspot.com

My friend Matt just started it up. It is a picture blog. Definitely worth checking out.

Life Update

Well things have certainly been interesting these last couple of weeks. I broke up with my girlfriend and it is yet to be seen if we will get back together. Even though I was the one that did the breaking up I told her that I would like a second chance to do things right so its up to her now.
School starts back up again soon. I cant wait. Im taking IT management and Applied Managerial Economics online. The last class actually ended better then I thought. I got an A and my teacher gave me a great compliment by saying that I was a "natural" at project management. It warmed the cockles of my heart. lol.
Work has been going ok. The snow storm has everyone behind on their work so we are going to have some tough times catching up these next two weeks. We shall see what happens.
And I am getting more excited about what God has in store for the future. Already I am realizing just how much I have grown in the past year and how much I will grow this year, especially in terms of relationships. As I get older I realize more and more each day just how important the people in my life are, and how short time is. Time is so short and I remind myself of that everyday so I live it to the fullest.
In any case, I am looking forward to doing some more writing. Wintertime is always great for that. So you will see me leaving the myspace world and coming back to my home at blogger. Crazy huh? You know whats even more crazy? Im about to hit 1000 friends on myspace! Insane! Ok, talk to ya'll's laters....

Faith in God

We make the stupidest of mistakes when we are not focused on God. I made one this past Friday, and have been struggling with my decision ever since. It has actually turned out to be a life changing experience for me. These past few days, and especially today because of the snow, I have plunged into God's word and have started to pray like never before. This has strengthened my relationship with God drastically and I am a changed man because of it.
As Paul said, not that I have acheived it, but I press onward to the mark God has called me too. And like Paul, God has given me huge clarity of purpose. Yes, I had to be blinded and knocked off my high horse, but God has shown up in my life like never before.
He has shown me that I need to be in lock step with Him. He has shown me that even the smallest decisions should be made with God in mind. It always helps to pause for a second, and think about what God is doing here. What is His plan? What is His purpose? Many times it is unclear, but only through much reading of His word and prayer will things begin to make sense.
The future is uncertain, primarily because God has empowered us to make decisions. Decisions that either nail Him to the cross or give Him the glory. What is certain are God's promises. We know and understand His promises by knowing His word and being in constant communion with Him sharing every aspect of our lives, from the smallest to the biggest.
I don't know if we could ever do it fully because of our fallen nature, but the more we give God the control in our lives the better off we are. For who better to deal with our life situations then our Creator, our Father God.
Jesus is our Savior and he has called us to walk with Him. We are more then conquerers with Him by our side, and with Him all things are possible. God continues to call us to Him, and we must answer His call. If we don't answer it we will be left forever wondering what it would have been like to walk by His side all the days of this short life that God has given us. May we all continue to seek His face and begin to know the awesome Presence and Glory of our Lord, the author and perfecter of our faith.

Here we go again...

What to do? What to do? My job, even though I like it, is already starting to feel uncomfortable for me. Why is that? Because I have to wear a shirt and tie to work everyday and make phone calls most of the day. The best part is getting to interview potential students, half of which don't show up for their appointments. Regardless, I know that it is where God wants me at for the time being.
The harder question is whether getting an MBA is right for me. I was so excited to start school and now I am seriously considering if it is worth it or not. Why you ask? Because I feel like I should be getting more specialized training rather then getting more generalized training that an MBA offers. In fact, I walked into CTU thinking I was going to get a second degree in IT and I walk out having enrolled in an MBA program. Yes, I have been thinking about getting my MBA for awhile, and yes, getting a second bachelors is a "step backward" to some people but I dont care. The sad fact is that I don't feel like I am learning much, and that I am just doing it to get the credential. Is that so bad? In hindsight I would have at least waited till my Tuition Assistance kicks in. Argh. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that I could have saved so much more money if I would have waited, but now that I have "sunk costs" I feel like I need to just get through it and finish.
So yeah. I hate this. I even thought about not doing this class now, project management, and the way its going, I REALLY wish I would not have taken this class. It is a learning experience though. Here is what I have learned. I hate working on teams I do not pick, and I certainly hate working on teams where I have something at stake and everyone is coming to me hoping that I have all the answers. Well I don't! I am in class just like you, and I am learning the same stuff you are learning, sooooooooooooooo, this is YOUR assignment, learn to do it yourself!!!! geez, I should have vented these frustrations awhile ago. My stomach feels sick right now, or maybe its just hunger pangs. I wanna cry. I am VERY ready to just quit and say there is $4000 down the drain for nothing. grrrrr.

Who I am

I like to sit back and think things through. When I have a good thought I must say it. It must be exact and I choose words carefully to make sure my message gets across. I don't like it when I have to babysit people and hold their hands. Everyone needs at least some level of emotional support, but I am not the one to give it. What I can give is a listening ear. And if not empathy, understanding. If you want a clear, thought out, objective view, I'm probably the best person to give it. If you want someone to calm your fears and make you feel like everything is going to be alright, then I am not your man. What I can do is calm your nerves and help you think through a situation. Emotions can cloud your judgement and I can help minimize the effect emotions have.
I have trouble letting my emotions out. I do feel them, sometimes very strongly, but they are hard to express for me. Music helps me to feel what I am feeling in a stronger way. It helps me feel passionate. I also like to be around positive emotional people because they lift my spirits and help awaken my passion for life. My intense curiosity also helps me to get along in life. So does my ability to focus. I am very able to block everything out of my mind except the essentials. This works both ways because sometimes I do not do so well when I try to listen to people and empathize with them. People are looking for immediate feedback and I do not give it until I have thought it through.
I have a near photographic memory, but my hearing is impaired. I am not sure why. Two of my heroes are Thomas Edison and Beethoven because they both accomplished great things even though they were deaf. Speaking of accomplishments, I am very much the person who needs to accomplish things in this life. I can't seem to just live. I always have to be pushing myself. I can never seem to be satisfied. My hope is that I can find something deep enough to plunge into that will hold me, but I doubt I would settle for it. If those are the right words, I am not sure, but it is true. I am restless.
I sometimes feel like I live in a fog. Nothing seems to matter and I get very nihilistic, but then I emerge from the clouds and everything is blue sky. Then I come back down again and wallow in this mess. I do not believe I have any type of psychological disorder, except perhaps ADD, I just feel like I ride higher highs and lower lows then most people. Life is a crazy adventure for me. Everything about me, my intense curiosity, my need for new things, people, sites, and sounds, my ability to focus, my restraint, and my fervor, all come together to create a life that pushes all boundaries. I can not stop, I can not rest. I wish I could. I long to find satisfaction, but like the song says...