lost, so lost.

Am I ever going to find where I belong? Thats the question of the day. I dont feel like I should stick around become a franchise developer for these guys. I like the idea but I have no real input into how the business is run or organized. They listen to my ideas, but implementing them is a different story. Granted, I dont think I can find this freedom in any other job, but I cant take it anymore. Painting and construction for that matter is such a unique business. Its one of the few businesses where employees regularly dont show up for work. Its a business with the pickiest customers. Or at least it seems that way.
So Ive kind of reversed my trends as of late. My ultimate goal is to have my own business and help other people start their own businesses. This "job" has taught me a lot about running my own business, and perhaps it has some lessons yet to teach me, but I feel the need to really move on. I have felt this need before as you know from reading previous blogs but Ive decided once and for all to leave. Im going back to the regular employee world for the time being, and I have decided to start a business part-time. I will get that business up and running to where it can support me and then I will really be at the end of the beginning. ;-)
Right now Im probably in the worst of worlds. The headaches of a business owner without actually owning the business. Im thinking hard about getting another commissioned sales, but Im having trouble finding ones that will really help me learn and grow. I need and want to work with a company that has a true mission that doesnt really deal with the bottom line. And they are hard to find it seems. Im also looking for a great team of people to work with. I feel so alone right now, mainly because the people I would work with are located in Ft. Collins. *sigh*
I will find what Im looking for. I had hoped someone would be able to take the journey with me, but it seems Im destined to truly take this trip alone. Not alone in the sense that people wont help me along the way, but alone in the sense that I wont have someone walk that path right beside me each step of the way, except perhaps the man upstairs. ;-) Very few people have the feelings I am having right now, and Id say this might be one of the first times Ive ever experienced them, but we must all follow our heart or die knowing the greatness in us was never allowed to come out.